Adrenaline Issue #2: Passing the Torch – http://wp.me/p6XfjF-1G
The upper middle class neighborhood of Coyote Village didn’t look the kind of neighborhood where a superhero would live. But that is exactly where one lived, Dr. Richard Thomas aka Dr. Indestructible.
Richard Thomas had been a noted bio-engineer who worked for Nash Industries when he was shot by a man he experimented on, he gave the man his sight and the man tried to take his life. Richard and my father were best friends and Gerald Nash gave him a new body, the real Six Million Dollar Man, more like six billion, but who is counting. Dr. Indestructible sat behind his kitchen table with his wife Mary and his two daughters. I sat across from him. Munching on carrots sauteed in brown butter we glared at each other. Something told me that if he had answered the door and not Mary I would still be out in the sedan with Eli munching on celery sticks. He didn’t speak, he only glared. After we finished our awkward dinner and Mary took the kids upstairs to get them ready for the evening, Richard showed me to his office. I had been here many times. Richard had been the one to take me under his wing when…when it happened.
“How could you?” I demanded.
“Do what Simon?”
“You know what. You killed my uncle.”
“I assure you I did no such thing.”
“You might as well have. Your little proteges did.” He rushed me placing his large had over my mouth and pushing me back hard against his study wall. His black eyes stared into mine, they blinked with lights inside them. I knew that Richard was in there somewhere but I really couldn’t be sure how much of him was real and how much of him was android.
“You will not speak of my life inside my home, you know the rules Simon and just because your uncle died doesn’t give you the right to break that sacred bound we had.”
He released me but I knew he would be on me in a second if I mentioned it again. But I had to. “I’m sorry, know that, but I have to know why they would want Uncle Ed dead.”
“It wasn’t them, I can promise you that.”
“I saw her knife, the one they are calling The Blur. Who are they Richard, tell me.”
“I will not, It is our bond, just as I will never tell your secret.” He sat down behind his desk.
“Do you remember why I came to you?”
“And what did I tell you?” He asked.
“That you would die before you gave my secret.”
“That’s not the only time I’ve made that promise. You will never get it from me. Think about why you came to me, think about how we have ended up here. You will figure it all out. Trust me when I tell you that your origins are closer than you realize. You can show yourself out.” He said as he pointed to his study door.
Leaving Richards home and driving back to mine I couldn’t help but think of Russell.
We left The White House at two a.m. one summer night. After a few drinks I was feeling bulletproof. “When are we going back up? I cannot wait to jump again.” I said.
“Dude it’s your building, you tell me when,” he was along for the ride.
Being the best friend of a Billionaire surely had its perks but the truth was that I wouldn’t have had any other friend and Russell never wanted anything from me. I guess that always made me want to offer it more.
“There is something about the feeling of falling. The feeling just before you pull the cord that I can’t explain. When you going to jump with me?”
“Man that is your thing, I will continue to pick you up when you jump, but I’m not jumping from a building.” We laughed and hugged each other. He rubbed my head like I was his little brother and I had just done something to make him proud.
Screams suddenly filled the night air as we made our way through Sherman Park. We knew it was dangerous to walk through the park at night with the upsurge of violence lately, but it was one more thing for me to get an adrenaline rush from. Besides my father had paid extra police force lately to patrol the area. That however didn’t explain the scream.
High pitched shrills grew louder as we crossed a small creek and got to the heart of the park. Suddenly a rustle of leaves caught my attention to the right.
“Man I told you we shouldn’t have come this way.” He said.
“Oh don’t be a pansy.” I teased.
Screams echoed throughout the park and I bolted into the woods. I could hear the heavy foot of my friend running behind me then suddenly I heard nothing and saw nothing.
When I woke up I could feel a wet warm and sticky substance on my face. I pulled my hand across it lifted it to my face, crimson blood filled my fingertips.
“Russell,” I tried but I didn’t hear myself, the words were quietly falling out of my mouth. All I could hear was a piercing ringing in my ears. I must have been blindsided with a something. Someone must of hit me in the head.
“Russell, where are you?” I stood up and staggered around, searching the woods and the path where we had been but found nothing. I reached into my pocket for my phone to call the police but found only an empty pocket. Searching all my pockets revealed the same thing, I had been mugged.
After I crossed the small creek again it grew so dark that I couldn’t see. I stumbled over something, my foot dragging across something soft. I bent down to get a closer look and found myself staring right into the eyes of Russell, his dead blue eyes.
….yet another jewelery heist has led to the death of a Rosu Security Officer near the Boneyards in New Haven…CLICK…Rosu Security Officer stabbed in heist is only the latest death in the crime spree…CLICK….this marks the seventh Rosu Security Officer to be attacked in a crime spree officials are calling the worst the city has seen since Gerald Nash introduced his bill….CLICK…”they are going down, we will catch these criminals. And that is exactly what they are, just because Mr. Rosu has ran some less than ethical businesses in the past there is no evidence that this business is anything other than a legal up standing business.” That was Detective Henry Parker, the head of the new ‘Anti-vigilante task force set up by Mayor Natalie Blume…CLICK…
I find it disconcerting that everyone thinks that The Romanian has turned over a new leaf, this business is far from legal, it has to be a front for his extortion scheme, the one that most likely cost my uncle his life. He had nothing to do with Rosu other than he was just one more victim of his greed.
The funeral appears to be over,” Eli said as the few people that had came dispersed. I stepped out of the car and walked slowly through the falling leaves to the hole that held the box that held my uncle. My father hadn’t even came back for the funeral. He said he had too many things to finish up at the ranch.
I bent down and picked up a hand full of dirt and tossed it into the open grave.
“He was very proud of you.”
Her voice was sweet. I turned to see Katrina standing a few feet away leaning against a tree. Her blond hair blew in the autumn breeze and her short black skirt showed her firm legs. I had forgotten until now that Ed had told me that she used to be a gymnast in college. She was beautiful and her Eastern European genes showed on her small frame. She certainly was stunning.
“I know, I only wish I could have helped him.”
“You did your best Simon. He would have never blamed you for anything.”
I thanked her and was on my way. I was headed back to my car when I realized she would be without a job. What an odd thing to think. I couldn’t let that happen, he loved her like a daughter. I turned to her, I dug the keys out of my pocket and tossed them to her.
“What is this?” She asked.
“The White House.” I said.
“What about it?”
“He left it to me. I don’t want to work it, it’s yours, I don’t think I could step foot in there again.”
She tossed them back. “Me either, thank you though.”
“Will you be okay, money I mean?”
“I’ll make it.” She said.
I walked back to her and handed her my card. “My cell is on there, call me sometime, I mean if you ever find yourself needing a job.” She wrapped her long slender arms around my neck. Then a small framed woman walked up beside her.
“Simon, this is Allison Berry, my roommate.”
“And girlfriend,” Allison added casually.
“Oh, I had, I mean…” I stammered.
“It’s okay, really,” Katrina said.
We all parted ways and I went to my estate across The Coyote in the Hills.
Staring out my window onto the city I found it difficult to concentrate as my mind flowed from Ed to Russell to the vigilante’s and to Dr. Indestructible. What had he meant about our origins? How could I be remotely close to these women, these murderers, these thieves? I had to have answers and I had only one idea on how to get them. I had to ask them. The buttons beeped as I dialed the number from the card I held in my hand.
“Hello, I have reconsidered your offer.”
“Oh, well I’m glad you have come to your senses Mr. Nash, I will swing by your office tomorrow to work out the details. I’m sure this will be a fantastic working relationship.” His voice was like nails on a chalk board as I thought about sleeping with the enemy. But partnering with The Romanian seemed the only way to draw The Calico Cat and The Blur to me.
Time grinds to a stop when your bored. I really hate sitting behind this desk and pretending to care what goes on in the floors below me. Truth be told I have no idea what is even going on anymore. All I can focus on is the two women in the street a couple days ago. They were good, green, but good.
I looked up from my computer to see Tyler Dixon, CEO of Nash Industries, standing in my door. His shirt pulled tight and tucked into his pants with his large belly hanging over his belt. Once Dad left, my first order of business was to make a no dress code rule, business casual, I hate wearing suits.
“You have a visitor, Chrisof Rosu.”
Oh, I know the name, Mafia Don Chrisof Rosu is very well known in New Haven and a major opponent of my fathers efforts to clean up the city. His real name is not nearly as well known as his alter ego however, The Romanian.
“I really don’t have time for him.”
“Well you really don’t have a choice.” Mr. Rosu staggers around Tyler Dixon and waltzes into my office and pulls up a seat in front of me before I can say anything.
“I heard about your father retiring, wish him a congratulations for me the next time you speak to him.” I do not respond to him. “However, I am here on a business call rather a social one. I would like to talk to you about using my company, Rosu Security, for all your security needs.”
Blood flowed to my face setting it afire, my blood pressure shooting through the roof. I glance at my wrist watch and check my pulse. Seventy and rising. “You have some nerve walking into my office after the hell you put my father through offering to ‘secure’ my buildings, are you out of your mind? I will not even dignify that request with an answer. Please show yourself out of my building Mr. Rosu.”
“Very well Mr. Nash, but I am sincere about your father, please tell him for me.” He stood and tossed a card on my desk, “In case you change your mind.” Tyler Dixon stood watching through the door. As Christof passed him, his eyes darted to the floor.
* * * * *
….witnesses claim the two masked perpetrators attacked the security guards around twelve a.m. this morning taking them by surprise. They made off with an estimated two hundred thousand dollars in jewelry and cash. They wore matching blue ‘costumes’ and blue masks covering their eyes. They are considered armed and dangerous. Police are urging citizens to stay clear of the two….
Clicking off the t.v. I had heard enough. I knew the two women in the video surveillance photo’s they placed on the screen, although I didn’t really like the two names they gave them, I really don’t understand media given names sometimes. That is why I had picked my own and let them know. Calico Cat and Blur seemed to be a lot better than the last time I had laid eyes on them.
Light from my phone lit up the office. I rarely leave work anymore because of all the stuff I have to do as a real job, one that pays the bills, the one that puts food on a lot of people’s tables. I contemplated ignoring it until saw it was from The White House. Not that White House but my uncles bar. I hadn’t been to see him in months and I’m sure is worried about me. Truth is I was worried about him as well.
“Yes,” I didn’t mean for it to sound so short.
“Hello, I am calling for Simon Nash,” it was a female voice I didn’t recognize. “This is he.”
“I didn’t know who else to call.”
“What is wrong?”
“Can you come to the bar?”
“I’ll be right there.”
The beeped and the light went out as I turned it off. I turned off my computer and was in my car in a matter of seconds. What was going on? What could possibly be so important that Uncle Ed would have a server call me?
* * * * * * * * *
Eli La Croix pulled the car to a stop a couple blocks from The White House. He had no choice, police cars lined the streets ahead and the unofficial entrance into Haven Village, was blocked by street barricades and yellow tape. A police office walked up to the window and my driver lowered it.
“We are sorry but those two psychopaths are tearing up Haven Village.”
“We need to get over to The White House,” Eli said. “The owner called my boss who is his nephew, he is worried about him.”
“Go around, up Grand and come in from behind, there shouldn’t be anyone up there.”
“Thank you, Officer,” Eli said rolling the window up again.
It took us a little longer to get there but as we pulled up to the bar I jumped out before Eli had the car in park. I was in the bar before Eli was out of the car. I was at the bar before Eli was to the door. I was the first to see him laying on the bar, a knife in his chest. His had clutching a snub nose revolver as it hung limp over the bar. Eli was at my back grabbing me as I tried to get to my uncle. The one man I truly thought of as a father. Blood pooled beneath him and soaked the hard wood bar as it mixed with spilled beer and cigarette ashes. “Simon we need to go back outside and call the police,” Eli said.
I knew he was right, I knew that I didn’t need to compromise any evidence that be left behind so I scanned the small bar as quickly as could without moving. It appears to be a burglary gone wrong. His register drawer stood open, no money inside but a trail to the door, he probably drew his gun and fired at the men, firing because near the front door there were two bullet holes in the large storefront windows. Also near the front door, on the bare concrete floor lay two drops of blood.
Lights and sirens quickly filled the window and it felt like slow motion as the police officer came through the door, we drew his weapon and badge, I could see his mouth moving but I heard nothing, my mind flooding with images of my Uncle standing behind that bar, the one place he truly loved to be.
I turned slowly and looked one more time at the knife sticking out of my uncles chest, I knew that knife, I had seen it before. It belonged to Blur.
“Mr. Nash, my name is Detective Henry Parker, I work for the NHPD, I am going to have to ask you to step outside.” He ushered me to the door as the CSI guys came in and started putting numbered cones down and flashing pictures of the scene. I didn’t need photographs, the images would be burned into my memory forever.
Sitting outside in the cool autumn night I couldn’t help but wonder why would they want Edward White dead? Why did they want to rob him? They had been hitting high end jewelry shops and art galleries. Not small time bars on the north end of Haven Village, they couldn’t have gotten more than a hundred dollars from his register. There was only one man that I knew could help me, and I knew exactly how to get him.
In the weeks that followed Edward and Katrina had been visited by the goons on several occasions finally forcing him to concede and take the ‘protection’. I sat across White’s on the roof of Mia Bella, a swanky Italian restaurant that all the movers and shakers liked to patronize.
Unfortunately I wasn’t here for a social call, I was here to watch the goons that had entered my uncles bar twenty minutes ago. Suddenly I got a feel of eyes on me, studying me as heavily as I studied the goons.
Then I heard the soft steps of a familiar foot. Dr. Indestructible knelt beside me, his voice soft and comforting. He placed his hand on my shoulder and let out a sigh.
“You watching over your friends I see.” “Someone has to.”
“They’re heating up again. With Gerald gone they feel they have free reign and with the police failing at every turn they may just be right.”
“I can’t let that happen.”
“You can stop anytime, Adrenaline. You only got into this for the rush, remember?”
Too bad he had a point, I had only gotten into this for the rush, the thrill, the high that I got from the adrenaline rush that came from vigilantism. I was nothing like the good Dr., he had to do this, compelled by an inner drive that I wasn’t about to try to understand.
Dr. Indestructible had been the first ‘superhero’ I had heard of in New Haven. He patrolled the streets at night with an iron fist and the respect of the city. Unfortunately he went too far one day and had to begin to fly under the radar after a goon for a local Italian Mafia family pulled a gun on him and he pulled the mans throat of his neck. Caught on camera Dr. Indestructible became what he fought so hard to destroy. I knew he hadn’t had a choice but the incident became a public relations nightmare.
“Yeah but things have changed.”
“That was your handy work in Mexico wasn’t it?”
“You could tell?”
“Why didn’t you ask for my help?”
“I had to do it alone.”
“Yeah you’ve changed.” He nodded to the bar, “how many men in there?”
“Piece of cake,” he said.
His black hood hung over his full black mask and his black gee made him look like a ninja assassin perched beside me. I on the other hand stood out like a sore thumb, blue jeans, a dark grey hoody and a white blood stained hockey mask. My knifes sheathed at my thighs and my gun on the small of my back. I reached for the Kali Sticks that crossed my back as the door to Whites opened and two beefy goons exited counting a stack of cash. The Dr and I stood ready to leap the two stories onto them when suddenly out of the dark alley just below us two figures bolted toward the men.
One held a sword and the other two small knifes about six inches in length. The one with the knifes moved like lightening, her feet peddling underneath her, in one quick leap she was atop a small car and she bounced to the side of a van with her right foot, she spun in a twist of the body and landed on her feet just inches in front the two men. The girl with the sword strutted up behind the two stunned men.
“Give us the money,” the one with the knife says.
The two men laughed and stuffed the money into their pockets. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen.” One of the goons, the one that put the gun to the back of my head swung his fist wildly and connected with knife girl’s face which sendt her flying into a cargo van. The alarm began ringing, echoing off the surrounding buildings.
I started to leap when my friend placed his hand on my chest, holding me back like a mother places her hand across a child when a car comes to a sudden stop. He shakes his head at me. “I think they have it under control.”
Sword girl swung her weapon landing it behind the mans knees. He screamed out in pain as his body collapsed to the sidewalk. The goon who followed Katrina outside that night turned and raised his hand. A black Colt 1911pointed at her. He pulled the trigger and I could see her chest explode with a burst of power. She flew into the building behind her with the force of an erupting sun. Her head slammed into the brick wall, and she slid down nearly lifeless.
“It doesn’t appear that they have it under control.” I stood and leaped from the edge of the building landing flat footed onto the roof of a semi truck parked below. Taking another leap I landed about ten feet from the scuffle. Knife girl keyed up and pulled her two knifes, she darted for the shooter, taking a running jump along the brick wall she kicks off into a somersault in the air. Thrusting the knifes downward they bury deep into both sides of the shooters neck. The gun slid slowly from his hand landing with a thud on the ground.
A rustling turned my attention to the sword girl, her chest held the slug from the shot. I look up toward the Dr. who stood staring, watching like a father lion witnessing his cubs taking down their first antelope. Sword girl stood in her dark blue costume, long blond hair flowing behind her in the breeze and a blue mask covering her eyes. She stepped slow and deliberate, taunting the attacker. She raised her sword above her shoulder, pointing toward his groin. Swiftly with the force of a train, she sliced and blood poured from his leg. His body shivered as he laid on the sidewalk. She severed his femoral artery, he’ll be dead shortly.
The two women in their matching costumes jet off into the dark, I looked back up at Dr. Indestructible, but he was no longer perched atop the building. The night which had quickly grown silent was broken by the sound of sirens. I decided it best to leave.
Eli pulled the black sedan to a stop outside of an old warehouse on Euclid in Haven Village. Haven Village was once the industrial epicenter of New Haven. After the industries moved across the river to be closer to the Boneyards (the warehouse and shipping district of the city) the area fell into decay and disrepair. After my father planned the reconstruction of the city Nash Industries offered businesses the opportunity to move to the area at a cheap rate and were offered tax breaks by the local government in order to revitalize the neighborhood. This prompted a rise in the theater and arts, restaurant and nightlife in the area and it turned into the cultural center of the city. I stepped out of the sedan and onto the sidewalk, my foot landing on the damp concrete. Leaning back in I told Eli there was no need to wait on me I would be awhile and would get a cab home.
Taillights disappeared into the dark as I stepped into a little bar that I enjoyed frequenting, The White House. Edward White stood behind the bar drying out a bourbon glass. His long gray hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and his white beard hung to his chest. He wore a vintage Rolling Stones T-shirt and pair of blue jeans. His bar wasn’t a dive but it wasn’t high class either. Few people visited Whites but the ones that did were regulars and Edward knew everyone of them. He sat a bourbon glass on the bar as I pulled up a stool.
“I was expecting you,” he said. His voice was rough like he gargled pea gravel every morning. “Usual? ”
I threw my overcoat over the back of the stool and sat down. “You know what, I think I will have a beer tonight as well.” I downed the bourbon as he pulled a bottle from the cooler and twisted the top. “How’s things been going?”
“Okay, same ol’ same ol’. Business has been steady.”
I turn the beer up and drink it half down in one giant chug. Katrina steps up behind me and asks Edward for a couple beers.
“Hello Simon,” she says. I can sense some hesitation in her voice. A nervousness that I don’t place immediately.
He hands her the beers and Katrina bounces off. Her red ponytail bobbing back and forth as she makes her way to a table. I haven’t seen the guys in here before.
“What is up with her?”
“These guys have been in here the past four nights and they are giving her the willies if you know what I mean.”
I did, “Have you asked them to leave?”
“I can’t, they are Rosu’s men.”
I knew of Rosu, Christoph Rosu, the head of the Romanian crime family and real nasty piece. After the reconstruction the police force was doubled and the mafia in New Haven all but ran out of town. Only recently a few rogue groups have since grown into power and began testing the limits of the law and authority in the city. The meanest of these were the Romanian Mafia, formally known as the Gypsies.
“They keep wanting me to take their protection, for a fee of course.” “Seems to me you don’t need any protection, that is what the law is for.”
“Try telling that to them, Ever since your father announced his retirement the mobs have been making moves. They think with him out of the city things will start going back to ‘normal’.”
As I guzzle down the last of the beer Edward puts another in front of me, “I’m sorry to hear about Sarah, I wish that the Mexican government could have done more or gotten there sooner.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Listen Simon, if you need to talk to someone I’m here,”
Edward placed his hand on my hand and squeezed. He has always had large hands. As a child he would place those large hands over mine and as I had gotten older I expected them to get smaller but they hadn’t, its like they grew as mine grew.
Regina White had been his sister and my mother. Uncle Edward has always been there for me, after my mother died two years ago he pulled me from the gutter outside of this bar and took me to his house. As much as he hurt himself his concern was my my wellbeing. He wouldn’t tell my father where I was hiding. My protector, my gaurdian. I wished there was something I could do to return the favor.
Katrina bounced back toward the bar, her green eyes glowing in the dim light of the bar. “Edward, I have an emergency, is it okay if I go, its just those two guys and my shift is over anyway.”
“Sure dear, be careful going home, okay.”
“You know I will,” she leaned across the bar and gave him a peck on the cheek.
In a second she had her jacket and was out the front door. The two men stood, one following her and the other coming toward the bar. He stood behind me and placed his strong hands on my shoulders, I could feel his tenseness. He slammed my face into the bar and pulled a pistol from his pocket. Then he placed the barrel to the back of my head.
“I wouldn’t move from that stool if I were you,” his eastern European accent was thick and barely understandable, but I got the gist. “Listen carefully to me old man, if you do not take the protection I will make sure that everyone you care about suffers. Even Mr. Pretty Boy here. I saw you on the t.v. standing next to your father man thees afernoon. Don’t think you are going to follow in his footsteps, we are taking back our city.” He pushed the barrel harder onto the back of my head.
My fists clenched as I could hear Katrina scream, her shrills echoing off the old brick buildings. My eyes darted as I saw Uncle Edward’s hand sliding under the bar, I knew he kept a sawed off shotgun under there, Ol’ Susy he called it. I just hoped he wised up and left her under there.
The goon turned and walked toward the door, the sound of his heavy footsteps growing quieter as he reached the door. I looked and Edward who looked at me and I gently shook my head and mouthed the words, ‘not now’.
Edward pulled his hand back as the door slammed shut and the screams of Katrina quieted. The sound of a loud sports car drowned out anything else in the city. Blood poured out of my nose and soaked my white shirt and blue tie. I turned and to my surprise a battered Katrina staggered through the door and collapsed to the floor.
I found this on yahoo images, I think it fits well with the feel of the story I’m working on
When a young man in a Post Apocalyptic world sets out on his rite of passage into manhood and to gain acceptance from his tribes hunting party he finds himself lost in an unknown and dangerous land where he discovers he has become the hunted and he struggles to learn the truth behind the real reason he was sent on the journey.
This is the next short story or novella I’m working on. Please tell me what you think of the logline. And if it sounds like something you would like to read.
I have just recently completed the second edit of “Worms” a creature horror screenplay and ready to start a rewrite. I have forgotten how much i love the screenplay format and plan to do more.
As for now I have been working on a new series of short stories. A vigilante hero facing big bads in each installment. I love the superhero genre but like to keep it based somewhat in reality like a Punisher or even Nolan’s Batman. “Adrenaline” is a hero with no powers but the addiction to thrill seeking that leads him to fighting crime for a high, but soon finds himself fighting for more than that.
I love creating universes for characters to live in almost as much as i like to create the characters themselves. Sometimes i find myself engrossed in the task of laying out plot points and get sidetracked from writing. It’s what I love about Serial Fiction.
Anyway, keep an eye out for all this stuff. I’m thinking of doing something special for my one of my followers once i complete the re-write for “Worms”.
The moon hung lazy in the night sky covered by a thin layer of fall clouds throwing low light to the earth. Cool damp air lay on my skin as I sat quiet beneath an orange maple tree, it’s leaves turning with the season. I liked being in the trees, it gave me visibility to the surrounding landscape and coverage from the passing motorists. I could see that the little dive bar on the corner and the alley just to the south gave me the perfect opportunity.
It didn’t take long for me to spot the pretty young thing leaving the bar at closing, her blond hair whipping in the cool breeze. Her porcelain skin glowed in the moonlight, and her long legs beneath her short skirt begged me to spread them. I followed close behind her, watching her as she glided just ahead. I couldn’t have been any luckier, she was headed directly toward the alley.
She reached the alley and to my surprise turned, making her way into the dark. I followed ready to pounce on my prey. As I stepped into the dark I lost the angel. My eyes surveyed the scene. My heart beating like a herd of thundering horses. I had done this more times than I could count but something felt wrong. Did she lead me here? I got my answer when I saw saw a flash of white in the moonlight and the feel of those sharp white teeth digging into the soft juicy flesh of my neck.
Page 1 int. kitchen…night 3 panels
Panel 1 Close on a digital clock on the wall. It reads
Panel 2 meduim: through a window no light can be seen,
Panel 3 close: a sink holds only plate but two wine
Page 2 INT. LIVING ROOM…NIGHT 5 Panels
Panel 1 medium: A young couple stand by the door,
embracing tightly, he holds a small “overnight”.
Panel 2 close: They peck one another on the lips.
Panel 3 close: MARC pulls away looking at JENNY lovingly
in the eyes.
Remember, leave the porch light off
and don’t answer the door. Just
I know, how many times have we been
over this. I manage everytime. I
love you and I’ll be fine.
I love you too, see you in the
Panel 4 medium: He slips out the door and into a pool of
kids in Halloween costume.
Panel 5 Close on digital wall clock. It reads 9:34 P.M.
Page 3 INT. LIVING ROOM…NIGHT 4 Panels
Panel 1 Jenny sits alone on her couch watching television
with the lights off.
Panel 2 close: front door.
(Sound: A loud knock on the
Panel 3 close: Jenny looks toward the door, startled.
stupid kids. the light is off.
Panel 4 close: door.
Page 4 int. bedroom…night 7 Panels
Panel 1 Close: on an alarm clock which reads 11:13.
Panel 2 CLOSE: Jenny lays in her bed alone. Apparently
Panel 3 CLOSE: door.
(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!)
Panel 4 CLOSE: Jenny’s eyes look startled.
Panel 5 Close: She holds the clock and looks at it.
Panel 6 Medium:
( A louder knock.)
Panel 7 close: She continues to lay in the bed, trying to
ignore the rapping. With a pillow over her head
Page 5 INT: Living room…night 4 Panels
Panel 1 wide: Living room is dark there is a know coming
from the door.
Panel 2 medium: Jenny sighs and throws the blanket back
and climbs out of bed.
Panel 3 close: Jenny’s hand Picks up a robe from the floor
Panel 4 Medium: throws it over her short shorts and pink
wife beater, stumbling out the door.
Page 6 INT. LIVING ROOM…NIGHT 7 Panels
Panel 1 She crosses the room headed for the door.
Panel 2 close: Door,
JENNY (OFF PANEL)
Panel 3 close: her hand on the door knob,
Panel 4 close: the door cracked leaving the chain on.
Peering in are a pair of eyes.
Can I help you?
Panel 5 close: opened slightly more showing a man who
appears behind the door. He is scruffy, five day growth
on his face, and ratty clothes. ELI’s eyes are shifty
Yeah, my truck broke down just up
the road and no one will open up.
Thank you so much.
What do you need?
Just to use your phone ma’am and
maybe a cup of coffee while I am
waiting on a ride.
Panel 6 close: closed door. Jenny’s fingers are on the
Panel 7 Medium: door is open and she is gesturing the man
Thank you, again. You don’t know
how many houses I tried before
I can’t imagine you were as
persistent with everyone.
You have to forgive me, you were my
Page 7 INT. KITCHEN…NIGHT
Panel 1 Eli holds the phone to his ear, he appears
Panel 2 close: slams the phone in its home.
I don’t know what to do now, no one
is answering the phone.
Is there no one else.
Panel 3 Jenny pours a cup and hands it to Eli.
I am sorry but after you finish
that you will need to leave.
I understand. You can’t be too
careful now-a-days, you know.
Panel 4 Close: Jenny leaning against the wall next to the
Especially on a night like
tonight. you know, Halloween and
Panel 5 She looks at the clock. 11:53.
Panel 6 Close: Eli face, he looks devious.
You’ve heard the stories, I’m sure,
about the missing people every
Yeah, you need to finish, I’m
I’m almost done. You don’t have to
be scared of me. I ain’t gonna
hurt no one.
Panel 7 close: Jenny appears to grow more nervous.
Please excuse me, I have to go to
the restroom. Just finish your
coffee and show yourself out.
Listen, lady I would like to stay
until I can get in touch with
someone. It is freezing out there.
Panel 8 Jenny walks away, briskly toward the bedroom.
I really am sorry, just leave.
Page 8 INT. BATHROOM…NIGHT
Panel 1 Jenny storms into the bathroom with the stranger
Panel 2 She slams the door and locks the door knob.
Panel 3 She sits down in the floor and curls up into a
ball and begins to shake.
Come on, lady, I didn’t mean
to scare you, your safe with
Ok, I am leaving. I hope you
have a great night.
Page 9 INT. LIVING ROOM…NIGHT
Panel 1 Eli gets almost to the door when…
Panel 2 Sound: loud banging from the bathroom.
Panel 3 He stops and runs back in the direction he came.
Panel 4 Close on the clock. 12:00 A.M.
Page 10 int. hallway…night
Panel 1 close: Eli foot connecting to the bathroom door.
kicks the door in,
Panel 2 medium: running in halfway he stops.
Panel 3 medium: Eli stumbles backward into the hallway.
WHAT THE HELL?
Panel 4 wide: A huge hairy creature with a long snout and
sharp drooling teeth leaps out on him.
Panel 5 close: the teeth of the beast dig into a torso
Panel 6 Close: on the beast looking up
Page 11 INT. LIVING ROOM…morning
Panel 1 Jenny lays on the couch under a small quilt,
Panel 2 The front door opens and Marc walks in carrying
Honey, I’m home.
Panel 3 Jenny raises up and peering over the couch.
How was everything?
Panel 4 close: he leans in and pecks her on the cheek.
Fine. Nothing exciting.
Panel 5 close: tv is on the news a blond talking head is
reading a piece of paper
…the truck was found near a…
Panel 6 close: She pushes a button on the remote.
Page 12 ext. woods…day
Panel 1 A creek flows gently over rocks and moss. A leaf
acts like a boat as it travels down the stream.
Panel 2 It passes rocks and moss, sticks and downed tree
Panel 3 close: It keeps going until it stops on the white
face of Eli as he lays in the creek.
Caption sometimes things are not what they appear.
Panel 4 Medium: Eli’s body lies in the creek. His chest
Panel 5 Wide: Eli lays in the creek, flowing from his body
is his blood, mixing with the once tranquil setting of the
fall creek giving it a darker feel.
(Images are royalty free images I found)
This is a short screenplay that I wrote a few years ago that I have adapted into a short comic script. Those that follow me have probably figured out that I write a lot of different things. I just love writing stories and sometimes a certain story lends itself to a specific medium. I love the hardboiled detective and noir style of storytelling. I bring an element of that to a lot of my stories whether it is the my mystery series or my Perfect 200 series which I would classify as a urban sci fi fantasy.
I have no ability to draw at all so I put some images that I found on Google for the feel that I was going for. I viewed this very much in the style of Frank Miller.
Panel 1 Wide: Urban cityscape, dark and gritty
Caption: City of Angels 1940 something…
Panel 2 Close: Front of an old car, 30’s Studebaker,
Panel 3 Close: Through the front windshield two young men
sit in the front seat of a car.
Caption: I really hate this city. It’s a dirty steaming
cesspool. And I am right in the middle of it.
Panel 4 Close: Through the windshield, The passenger, STU
Caption: I a make my living in this cesspool, so I
guess that makes me part of the problem. That’s why I
plan on getting out.
Panel 5 Close: gun on the thigh of one of the men
Caption This is how I make my living
Panel 1 wide: dark alley with light thrown from an open
Caption It’s places like these I make that living.
Panel 2 close: A man leaning on a wall smoking a
Caption I don’t know what this guy did, Hell, he
probably didn’t do anything.
Panel 3 Close: the mans hand on the door as he pulls it
closed narrowing the light.
Panel 4 close: through the windshield Stu and his partner,
JEREMY, sit quietly, waiting.
Any idea why He wanted you to do
No idea, I thought my last hit was
a month ago.
I hope we didn’t interrupt
Panel 5 close: Stu looks at his partner, and takes a drink
with a half smirk.
Panel 1 wide: a seedy motel with half of its lights burned
out and two old cars parked next to each other
Caption last night…
Panel 2 close: Stu lays in bed with a beautiful girl,
under his arm. Her long hair flowing around them
Caption ahhh, Allison. Now there is a dame to die for,
or kill for. Her old man just happens to be my boss
and that ain’t no life to live.
Panel 3 wide aerial from ceiling. The full bed, a ceiling
fan blocks the light throwing shadows around the room and
across Allison’s exposed top. Her breasts young and perky.
Their bottom are covered by a sheet that is woven between
Caption It gets hot in the summer, and even hotter
when Allison shares my bed.
Panel 4 close: Stu is laying a big kiss on Allison
Panel 5 close: Stu and Allison laying in bed
I’ll be glad when this is over.
Fun and sun are almost here.
Two weeks is too long. I want to
I already bought the tickets. I
can’t exchange them.
Panel 6 close: Allison crawls out of bed pulling up pink
Panel 7 Close: A phone on the nightstand. (ring ring
ring)Stu hand reaching for it.
Caption Allison’s father, The Boss
Panel 8 close: Stu’s face as he speaks into the phone.
THE BOSS(FROM THE PHONE)
Meet Jeremy in one hour at the
Panel 9 wide shot from ceiling. Allison stands across the
room topless. shadow thrown across her chest. Stu sits on
the bed with the phone in his hand.
You know the plan? Be safe.
Panel 1 wide aerial shot of alley, it is dark and the
Studebaker sits in the same spot, quiet.
Panel 2 medium shot: Stu and Jeremy hold their guns near
Caption nah, he didn’t interrupt anything..
Panel 3 wide: Stu and Jeremy crouch down behind an old car
and watch the mark stand about 100 yards away as he smokes
Panel 4 close: Jeremy has a smirk on his face.
So what are your plans after
I guess this is my retirement.
This is your last hit, I swear.
Jeremy, it doesn’t really matter
what you swear. Once in the mob,
always in the mob. Right?
I guess. But honestly, I asked for
it to be this way.
Panel 5 close: Stu looks at Jeremy curiously. A light cast
across his face.
You asked for me?
Yeah, this is kind of an important
The Mark went against the family.
So, you never answered my question,
Panel 6 medium: with his thumb on the hammer Stu cocks his
gun (click), on knee on the ground he gets ready to make
Panel 7 Medium: the man steps inside the building.
Panel 1 Wide aerial of the motel. It is still dark and the
motel is full of shadows.
Panel 2 Wide from back of room. Stu steps through the door
into the room casting a light onto Allison who lays on the
bed in the fetal position fully clothed.
Panel 3 He makes his way quickly over to the bed reaching
to hold his lover.
Caption I knew this hurt her so much…
Panel 4 close: He grabs her face and kisses her
Panel 5 Their faces are close together with barely an inch
between them. Light is thrown across Stu’s face leaving
Allison somewhat in the dark.
It’s a hit, isn’t it?
This is the last time, I promise.
After this we will be in Mexico.
I know, I’m just scared.
We’ll be alright, I promise. I
will be back in a couple days.
Panel 6 wide from ceiling looking down. Allison reaches
for him but gets nothing but air. The room between them
filled with dark shadows
Panel 1 wide cityscape, dark and gritty
Caption This is a mean mean town and sometimes things
don’t turn out as planned…
Panel 2 wide: Stu and Jeremy enter the building through
the alley door. Casting light onto their guns at their
Panel 3 wide: a shadow filled hallway lays ahead of them
but Jeremy points to a closed door that is bathed in
Panel 4 medium: Stu makes his way to the door with his gun
in front of him, in a shooters stance. He pushes the door
open with the muzzle of the gun.
Panel 5 wide: The door opens (creeeeek) into reveal him
stand with his gun drawn. Shadow behind him.
Panel 6 close stepping out of the shadow Stu raises his
gun, ready to fire. Then from behind Stu, Jeremy’s gun
comes down swiftly on the top of his head. (CRACK)
Panel 7 Black.
Panel 1 close: In a dark room Stu sits tied to a chair and
unconscious. Head hung between his shoulders facing his
Panel 2 wide: Jeremy slaps him hard across the face and he
comes to life.
Panel 3 close: Stu looks confused at his captor. Jeremy’s
face within inches of his partner.
I’m sorry, Stu. You were warned to
stay away from her.
Panel 4 Close on Jeremy, his face bathed in light. He
almost looks angelic.
I’m doing it because I’m your
friend. I didn’t want some guy
that you didn’t know whacking you.
Was she worth it?
I love her, it’s always worth it.
Panel 5 On the white wall behind Stu sits his shadow.
He’s helpless tied to the chair.
Panel 6 close: the barrel of a gun touches a forehead
Page 8 full page
Panel 1 Wide shot of a Jeremy standing in front of a tied
up Stu, his gun to his head, it is flying backward, a spew
of Blood and brain hit the shadow, soaking it in red.
Panel 1 wide on the hotel, the Studebaker sits in the
parking lot next to the other car
Caption: … or maybe they go exactly as planned. All
depending on who is telling the story.
Panel 2 close:Allison sits on the bed with a suitcase
beside her along with two plane tickets.
Panel 3 wide: She looks at her watch and picks up the bag
and the tickets and makes her way to the door.
Panel 4 wide: She opens the door and light casts on Jeremy
as he stands leaning on the door frame.
Panel 5 close: Jeremy has a smirk on his face
Caption: At least someone gets a happy ending
Panel 6 close: Allison’s hand, she is carrying a gun
Panel 7 black panel with sound effect (blam)
Panel 8 close: open door of the motel. Peeking out into the night onto an ambiguous figure
Like I said I have no ability to draw but if anyone out there is willing to collaborate I would love to hear from you. I would love to see what this would look like on paper. It might give someone the opportunity to showcase some work as well.